Do you say yes when you really mean no? Wow, oh wow, I’ve been there far too many times.
I wonder how many times I will have to learn this lesson in my lifetime. I give and give and give until there is nothing left. The result – stress, back pain, acne, headaches, moodiness and just a plain crappy feeling.
It’s often because I want the approval of those around me. I desire for my peers to admire my ability to do it all. I seek recognition from teachers, my parents, and my family.
My method for doing this was all wrong. For years I just said yes to anyone and anything that was asked of me all while grumbling in my head that I didn’t want to do it. A part of me wanted to please all and another part of me was struggling to find happiness with others’ expectations of me.
The worst part, I never put myself first. I rarely did what my heart truly longed for. I was blinded by my desire for approval.
But what if I could actually gain approval and praise by doing it my way? What if taking time for me and fulfilling my desires could turn heads? And what if allowing myself to receive allows me to be more generous to others without experiencing burnout, stress or acne?
Huh, that would be amazing, pleasant and enjoyable. I made a choice. I made a commitment. I was going to do things differently.
Here are 3 simple steps to put your needs first:
1. Communicate what you need and how people can support you so that you can support them in return. You must ask for help. People
can’t help you unless you ask, and it’s important to tell them how they can help. Don’t assume they know.
2. Ask for what you want. If you aren’t clear about what will make you happy or how people can help you, how will they know? (If you need
help with finding clarity, let’s chat – I’m really good a helping women gain clarity around their true desires. Click here to schedule a session with me.)
3. Let go of the fear that you will let someone else down by putting yourself first. Chances are they not only will be okay with it but they’ll
likely encourage you.
Okay, it’s your turn.
Have you ever put everyone else’s needs first? How did you reestablish healthy boundaries?
What is one thing you’re going to do today to put your needs first?
Post a comment below. Your experience will help another woman. We need women like you to share. We can all lift each other up to create more joy, happiness and peace.
Much love,
Melanie